How to Turn Off Discord DMs from Strangers
Step-by-step guide to disable direct messages from server members and strangers on Discord so only friends can message your child.
- 1
Open Discord and click the gear icon (User Settings).
It is at the bottom-left of the Discord window, next to your username.
- 2
Go to Privacy & Safety.
- 3
Disable 'Allow direct messages from server members'.
This is the most important setting. When OFF, only people on your child's friends list can send them DMs. Server members cannot initiate private conversations.
- 4
Set 'Safe Direct Messaging' to 'Keep me safe'.
This scans all incoming DMs for explicit content and blocks it automatically.
- 5
Under 'Who can add you as a friend', restrict options.
Uncheck 'Everyone' and 'Server Members'. Leave only 'Friends of Friends' checked, or uncheck all to prevent any new friend requests.
- 6
Review per-server settings.
Right-click any server > Privacy Settings > disable 'Allow direct messages from server members' for that specific server. This is a per-server override.
Why this matters
Discord DMs are the highest-risk area on the platform. Grooming almost always moves to DMs after initial contact in a server. By disabling DMs from server members, you eliminate the primary path predators use to isolate children for private conversations.
How Koda Safety helps beyond settings
Even with DMs restricted to friends, Koda Safety monitors all Discord conversations on your child's PC — including DMs from accepted friends, server messages, and voice channels. You receive alerts the moment dangerous content appears.
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